How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
