How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
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