I just cut my nipple shaving
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
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