They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
