he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
