Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize