At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
sex in a hospital.. check
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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