If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
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