Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
