you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Randomize
