Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
