love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
