Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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