I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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