watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
