That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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