you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize