i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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