so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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