After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I think I just shit out all my problems.
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