he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
last night I used snow as a chaser
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