This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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