White coat. Heels.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
