So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
