Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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