no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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