I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
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