Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
please don't ironically join a cult
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