I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
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