You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
