dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
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