I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Randomize
