remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
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