Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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