Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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