It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
