the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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