yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Randomize
