is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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