Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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