careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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