Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
