Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
he shaved USA in his pubs
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
