I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
this will be a night to untag.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
They took my balls.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
