Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
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Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
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We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Drake has all the answers
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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