In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Randomize
