it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I am available for nakedness
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
