I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
