summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
