And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
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He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
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Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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