I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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