A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
