The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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