smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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