He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
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We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
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I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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