"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
