Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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